Glass Noodles--What a pane!

Glass Noodles.

Mung Bean Noodles.

Cellophane Noodles.

Whatever you decide to call them, they are yummy, fun to look at, and unfortunately were a pain in my a** to find in this town.

Over the past weekend, I took my little family of 2 plus a friend of mine down to the Annual Sukiyaki Dinner Fundraiser at the Wapato Buddhist Hall. They served up a dish of something incredible that had beef, celery, cabbage, and these clear noodles that the baby just gobbled right on up. She smacked her lips so loudly, people at the far end of the table were looking over at us and smiled.

"That must really be tasty, eh, little Sweetie?" said the old lady next to me, giving Baby Willow a squeeze on her cheeks.

Willow rolled her eyes, gave the lady a glassy-eyed stare (pun intended), and kept on slurping noodles. ("Slurping Noodles" is so gonna be the name of my next rock band.)
Later, the baby knocked over the cup of complimentary vinegar-soaked cucumber slices. We left a whollup of a mess of beef, rice, and celery all over the floor under us, but thankfully, the gracious teenage hostesses didn't mind cleaning it up at all. I learned two lessons that day. 1) The baby hates cucumbers. 2) The baby can give a wicked evil eye. She didn't inherit that from me.

Pictured: Willow, playing with toys before the Wapato Buddhist Hall Dinner.

Anyway, the sukiyaki dish was so good that I am still here dreaming about it several days later. I decided to recreate this magnificent feast, but ahoy! Little did I know that full-fledged dramz was about to begin.

The "pane" in my arse unfolded when I searched for where to buy some of those clear noodles.

Guess what? I found out the sad way that we don't have an Asian market in this town anymore. How depressing.

I had googled "Asian Market Yakima" and rang up the Thai restaurant that also sells Asian food goodies.

"Yes, hi, do you carry the glass noodles?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, the what?" came the gentleman's response at the end of the line.

"The glass noodles. Mung bean noodles? Cellophane? You know the clear nooodles?!"

"Oh, yes, the noodles. We don't carry the noodles. I'm  sorry, but we are not a market anymore."

"Ah sh--! Thanks anyway!" I replied, downtrodden. That was the only Asian market in town that I knew of. I decided to call

to see if they carried them there.

"Thank you for calling. For Customer Service, please press 0," chimed the overly excited female voice on the recording.

I hit 0 and waited on hold for the "next available customer service rep". And waited. And waited. I was on hold so long that I had time to try and guess what band was singing the Hold Music. (Turns out the song was "Amanda" by Boston, not "Miranda" by Journey, like I thought. It also seems that I was on hold way too long because I had enough time to google the answer.)

I finally hung up the phone because I was sick of hearing "Amanda" and it didn't seem like nobody was going to answer my call. I dialed up the next Safeway local location listed online. This time, the hold music was a country song. Bummed out that I didn't know the tune, I breathed a heavy sigh. Fortunately, the customer service answered right away. But alas, they didn't have "glass noodles" either.

Undeterred, I rang up the last local Safeway location. This time I had struck gold! Not because they had the evasive "glass noodles" (they didn't), but because their hold music was "Caribbean Queen" by...wait, wait! Don't tell me...BILLY OCEAN!!

Screw this, I thought to myself. I googled the number for  and gave them a ring. They DO have glass noodles! I was, however, informed by the friendly Customer Service lady that they are actually called "Thai Noodles" around here. I have never felt so uncultured in my life.

Which means that these "Glass Noodles" are actually available in ALL the grocery stores in town and apparently I am the only one around here who didn't know that you just have to look in the International Foods aisle to find them. I'm such a shopping newbie. Shame on me!

Thai Noodles.

Oy vey!